What Does a Sexologist Do?

By Sandy Michael, Certified Clinical Sex Coach & Sexologist

Most people tilt their head a little when they hear the word sexologist.
It’s okay—I’m used to it.

Most of us weren’t raised in homes, schools, or communities where sexual health was treated as a normal part of overall wellbeing. Most of us grew up with silence, shame, fear, or straight-up misinformation. So when someone meets a sexologist, their curiosity kicks in.

So let’s talk about it.
What do I actually do? What can a sexologist help you with? And why does it matter?

The short answer:
I help people heal their relationship with sexuality so they can build deeper intimacy, experience healthier relationships, and feel safe and confident in their own bodies.

The longer answer—the real answer—is everything below.


First, What Is a Sexologist?

A sexologist is a professional who studies human sexuality from a scientific, psychological, relational, and emotional perspective. We look at how sexuality impacts your identity, your relationships, your confidence, your communication, and your sense of self.

I work with people in a holistic way:
your body, your emotions, your beliefs, your pleasure, your communication, your patterns, and your relationships.


So… What Does a Sexologist Actually Do?

1. I help people unlearn shame.

Most adults carry years of conditioning that tells them their desires are wrong, their bodies are wrong, or their pleasure is something to hide. Shame is one of the biggest obstacles to a healthy, connected sex life.

A big part of my work is giving people permission and a space to finally breathe, talk openly, and feel normal.

2. I teach real, evidence-based sexual education.

Not the awkward video from 7th grade.
Actual, accurate information about:

  • arousal
  • anatomy
  • desire differences
  • pleasure
  • communication
  • fantasy
  • emotional intimacy
  • healthy boundaries
  • navigating long-term relationships

Most people have never been taught any of this. I change that.

3. I help relationships reconnect.

So many relationships struggle because partners don’t know how to talk about sex, needs, boundaries, or expectations without conflict or fear.

I help partners:

  • rebuild emotional intimacy
  • understand each other’s desires
  • communicate openly
  • repair after hurt
  • rediscover pleasure and connection

Sex is often the symptom, not the root.
I help couples work on both.

4. I support individuals in rediscovering themselves.

Many of my clients say something like:

“I’ve spent years taking care of everyone else… I don’t even know what I like anymore.”

Together, we learn:

  • what your body responds to
  • what you truly desire
  • what you’ve settled for
  • what parts of you need healing
  • and how to build trust with yourself again

This work is deep, powerful, and life-changing.

5. I guide people through transitions.

People come to me during seasons of change:

  • divorce
  • new relationships
  • long-term relationship challenges
  • motherhood
  • menopause
  • identity exploration
  • sexual anxiety
  • healing from past partners
  • rebuilding after betrayal

Sexuality shifts throughout life.
I help people move through those shifts with clarity, compassion, and confidence.

My work is about guidance, education, emotional safety, and empowerment.

Think: conversation, exploration, insight, and practical tools you can use immediately.


What Working With Me Looks Like

Every session is private, confidential, and judgment-free.
Clients often say it feels like exhaling after holding their breath for years.

We focus on:

  • honest conversation
  • sexual education
  • understanding patterns
  • communication tools
  • intimacy-building practices
  • reconnecting with your body
  • personalized guidance
  • building confidence and self-trust
  • and so much more…

There is no taboo topic.
There is no shame here.
There is no “one right way” to be sexual.


Why Sexology Matters

Sex is not a side note in our lives.
It shapes how we feel, how we connect, how we communicate, and how we see ourselves.

When sexuality feels heavy, disconnected, painful, or confusing… everything else does too.
When sexuality feels empowered, understood, and integrated… everything rises with it.

Sexual wellness is overall wellness.
When we heal this part of ourselves, we create deeper emotional closeness, healthier relationships, and a more grounded, confident version of who we are.


If You’re Curious… You’re Not Alone

Most people don’t reach out to a sexologist because something is “wrong.”
They reach out because they want something more:

  • more connection
  • more honesty
  • more pleasure
  • more emotional intimacy
  • more clarity
  • more confidence
  • more ease in their relationship

If you’re reading this and something inside of you feels a little curious, a little hopeful, or a little relieved… that’s your sign.

You’re not broken.
You’re not alone.
And you don’t have to navigate this part of your life in silence anymore.

It’s time to become Unmuted!

 

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